


Green

by Saevam



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, First Kisses, First Times, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Love, Mentions of Underage Sex, Prostitution, Sexual Hangups, Tender Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, UST, Virginity, dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saevam/pseuds/Saevam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exploration of the pilots first forays into physical intimacy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is done as a series of vignettes. There is mentions of under-age prostitution; it is not graphic, but I did want to warn people before they dove right into the story. This was written back in 2012 for the gw500 community. The prompt was "green". On the community it is listed as "The First Time", but I thought that "Green" was a better title.
> 
> I didn't realize I gave the boys that many hang ups about sex in my head cannon...>_>

Heero: _The First Time I Really Saw You_  
***  
  
He is seven and disguised as Odin's son, when Heero technically receives  his first kiss.  
  
It's one of the daughters of their target actually, who clings to Heero the entire night, and makes it impossible for him to get any practical work done, because suddenly he's tasked with entertaining her while Odin carries out the necessary profiling.  
  
They're playing in her treehouse, or rather, an above-the-ground palace that happens to have a tree growing out of it, and Heero is awkward holding her pretty little dolls, and letting her prattle on and on as he steals glances out the window to see if Odin will send him the signal that it is time to go back to the room they've been renting.  
  
It happens so stunningly fast that Heero for once in his life has no idea what he should do- first she was talking about princesses and witches' spells that put them to sleep, then she was leaning over him asking for "true love's kiss".  
  
He doesn't remember much after that, except that he probably pushed her harder than he should have (it would explain her dirtied dress and her incessant bawling) and that he feels like he practically teleported himself behind Odin's leg, cowering and perhaps looking for the first time in their partnership, like a father and son.  
  
"She kissed me," Was all he offered in explanation as they hurriedly excused themselves from the party.  
  
What he expects is Odin's reprimands for botching the mission; what he gets is Odin's laughter.  Apparently Odin thinks that the incident is "adorable" and Heero scowls at Odin's quip about him "already being a heartbreaker."  
  
"You'll never forget your first, kiddo," Odin tells him with a friendly pat on his head as the two of them duck into some dive that Odin knows of.  
  
And it's true.  
  
Well not about that kiss, even though it was chronologically his first.  He barely remembers what that little girl's kiss was like, all he remembers is the sudden rush of adrenalin pumping through his body signaling to get the hell away from her.  
  
No, he doesn't remember that one.  He does however remember the only other "first kiss" that came after that one.  The one that Duo gave him; which would turn to be the first of many they would share throughout their lives.  
  
It's after a mission; one of those missions where he feels that he has been trapped in Wing for days, instead of the actual hours the mission took, and he's happy for once to be in a safehouse and not his gundam.  
  
Duo is climbing out of Deathscythe, his whole body projecting exhaustion even though his face has that perpetual smile that always seemed to make Heero's heart and stomach act oddly.    
  
He realized at that moment that he had missed Duo.  Truly missed someone in his life for the first time.    
  
So when Duo had embraced him in his usual greeting, Heero remembered wrapping his arms around the other pilot's waist, and then they were looking at each other, just lingering in the embrace, before Duo, with a look that he was gathering up all his courage, leaned in a kissed him.  
  
It was awkward, at first, considering that he himself had never kissed anyone back, but Heero allowed himself in that moment to feel everything that was happening.  The adrenaline was pumping within him again, but this time it wasn't to activate his flight instinct, instead it was making him feel little thrills of pleasure and his heart beating faster that he'd ever felt before.  
  
He remembers that kiss, not because it was his first from Duo, but because after all the years later, Duo's kisses always manage to draw him back to that exact moment in his life.  
  
***  
  
Duo:  _The First Time I Felt Whole Again_  
***  
  
Duo's first time is in an alley right by the main shopping district in L-2 ; he doesn't care how young he is, or what will happen if he and this man are seen.  All he knows that he is hungry, and if he gets caught stealing again, he is pretty sure that shop owner will actually shoot him this time.  
  
Even before it happens, he knows what to expect...he's heard it from the other kids who've had to do this to survive.  He also knows of other kids who traded their time on the streets for a room in a nondescript building where men on their way home from work take their pleasure for an hour or two or the rest of the night.  
  
Duo also knows that he's never seen any of those kids out on streets lately and a niggling thought tells him that he'll never see them again.  So doing this here, in a place where he can still run away is best.  
  
So when he approaches his client, he's still; waits for the man to show him the few credits he's propositioning Duo with and then after his nod, it starts.  
  
He's still throughout the whole ordeal; as the man pulls away the rags Duo is wearing, runs his hands all over Duo's thin and dirty body, before he is pushed against the wall.  
  
He doesn't let the man kiss him though.  Which is stupid considering, that Duo lets the man do whatever he wants to his body and that he even winds up sucking the guy off after the first round for two extra credits.  
  
But first kisses are supposed to be special...first times are supposed to be special too with someone you love, at least that's what Solo had told him...but Solo had also told him that he had to sacrifice what he could to survive.  
  
So he reasoned that he could give his body away, trade that for a another day to live, since no one would be interested in paying him just for a kiss.  
  
He is glad that he saves that kiss, because that first kiss is what makes him feel whole again; innocent and clean, when he touches his lips to Heero's- the first of many to come in their life time- one night after returning from a mission.

That kiss makes him feel less ashamed and more confident when he strips his clothes off one rainy night a few months later, to lead  Heero in a night of pleasure.  
  
***  
  
Trowa and Quatre:  _The First Time With The One I love._..  
***  
Trowa's first time is similar to Duo's... except that he doesn't get paid as promised. Interestingly enough, that experience doesn't put him off from sex as some people would have assumed.  He just pretends nothing different has happened to him that day, blends into the crowd and reports back to the Mercs.  
  
The next few times he has sex, it's merely out of curiosity and to ward off his hormones.  The acts are detached and Trowa leaves with the feeling of the release and nothing more towards his partners.  
  
Sex is just an act, a part of life that becomes necessary after a point in one's development; just like breathing.  
  
That is until the day when he gets the not so subtle hints from Quatre, that the blonde pilot wants to be more than just teammates.  
  
And it is the first time,Trowa actually wants to be with someone beyond a one time encounter.  He wants Quatre and truly wants to be involved in the Winner Heir's life beyond missions and the gundams.  
  
They actually discuss it.  Quatre, ever the strategist and methodical, shyly explains his feelings and wants and with each of word of Quatre's confessions, Trowa suddenly wants to make Quatre's experience more that what he has ever received.  
  
He knows that Quatre at the end of it all is a guy, and probably would not care where they do the proverbial "it", not care for candles, silk sheets, flower petals and the other cliches people do when they have sex.   
  
But Trowa wants to make this special.  He's compelled to give Quatre back something, in return for the blonde pilot giving Trowa his trust and ultimately his virginity.      
  
Perhaps that is what scares him:  the fact no matter what will happened to them down the road,Trowa will always be  Quatre's first.  And fates be damned, Trowa wants it to be amazing for the only person Trowa has been this attached to in his young life.  
  
Those thoughts nag at him has his slips into a grocery store to buy the necessary items (condoms, lube, and after an uncharacteristic fit of nervousness, as to what the cashier will think of these items, a packet of gum, the week's tv guide and a box of cereal) and goes back to the safehouse to make the room ready.  
  
He's so preoccupied in getting things set up: making sure the newly purchased sheets are softer than the usual cheap material they've come to expect at these safe houses, arranging the pillows just so, that he doesn't hear Quatre come into the room and in his quiet anxiousness he skitters away from the bed as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't.  
  
Quatre of course picks up on  Trowa's nervousness, and as Trowa would find out later, the blonde mistakes Trowa's feelings as him not being ready to take their relationship further.  Seeing Quatre there in the doorway with an unsure look, Trowa  assumes Quatre is having second thoughts, which makes Trowa too afraid to even initiate the planned proceedings.  
  
The whole evening suddenly becomes awkward as the two of them lay in bed next to each other, fully dressed, both of them wide awake and too afraid to breathe in fear of  disturbing the other.  
  
Eventually he must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knows, it is the next morning, and Trowa finds himself alone.  
  
He curses himself for being such an idiot; and proceeds to wallow in his certainty that he's royally blown any opportunity with Quatre to the point that  he is once again caught off guard when Quatre reenters the room with a tray laden with two bowls, cutlery, a pitcher, and the cereal.  
  
They stare at each other for a moment before Quatre, probably interpreting what the whole scenario looks like with him just leaving while Trowa was sleeping, offers by way of explanation with a smile: "You forgot the milk."  
  
Trowa nods, but can not contain the relief he feels.  
  
They do eventually make love, but it's in the afternoon two days after their original planned date.    
  
The time spent between that awkward night and them finally giving into each other, is a sweet string of hours of them slowly exploring each others bodies; becoming used to the other's touches and being held throughout quiet conversations or while they slept.  
  
When Quatre is laying sated and languid in his arms, body shuddering from the lingering shocks that mirror the ones coursing through Trowa's own, Quatre smiles and whispers,"perfect," as his hands idly card through Trowa's hair.  
  
"That's all I wanted this to be for you."  
  
Quatre's eyes drift close for a moment, as if soaking in the feeling and everything in between them now, "It was with you...how could it have been anything but?"  
  
Trowa captures his lover's lips in a deep kiss, knowing that this man below him is everything he now and would ever need in his life.  He's never felt this way about any of his past partners, but knows that from now on the only one he could ever want to share this experience with, is with the pilot he surrender to in Corsica.  
  
That feeling is still strong as ever, a few years later when he and Quatre decide to complete their hearts' desire and bring Wufei into their relationship...  
  
***  
  
Wufei:   _The First Time It Felt Good to Feel This Way_  
***  
  
He tries hard not to look like he's trying too hard; trying so hard not to seem shy.   It's awkward for him and he's trying.  He really is trying to just let himself go, let himself give in to what he wants.  
  
But it is hard for him, it's hard not to be embarrassed in front of them; to be so vulnerable, when their whole group knows that out of all of them, he's the most inexperienced.    
  
It shouldn't really be that big of a deal.  It should not be such a blow to his ego, when Maxwell makes crude remarks about having so few "notches on his belt' and lack of "in between the sheets action". Because with Quatre and Trowa it doesn't matter...it shouldn't.  
  
They love him, he loves them and trusts them; knows that they wouldn't kiss and tell about him being the "blushing innocent"...because he's not.  
  
Well, at least in the traditional sense he isn't...but considering that before this relationship with Quatre and Trowa, his only experience was on his wedding night seven years ago.  
  
He sighs at the memory that seems like it is from another lifetime and decides with an abysmal feeling, that he might as well be a virgin.  
  
Wufei looks at them, trying so hard to not think of that last time.  But he can't help but wonder if this is how Meirin must have felt, and the guilt he feels makes him almost call a halt to the proceedings.  
  
The whole wedding and the evening that followed, had been nothing but awkward:  his skinny fourteen year old body and her own form barely kissed by puberty, forced to consummate a marriage neither of them wanted, while representatives from each of their families stood witness.  
  
He had hurt her.  
  
Wufei would never forget how she looked at him, laying there on the bed only because pride and family expectations deemed that she be there; the defiant gaze that soon transformed into pain when he entered her, and then into anger as if the act forced her to acknowledge that she was a woman: expected to open for him; expected to yield.   
  
It was odd; odd for him now to find himself in a softer echo of her position, being opened up for another man...but wanting it...and then fearing that it would hurt.  It would serve him right, if it hurt...even if he had never meant it to be painful.  
  
Meirin hadn't wanted him then, maybe she would have in another life, if they were older, but they had been too young.  Too young to know what they wanted... too young to know what he preferred...and damn him for thinking about when he should be focusing elsewhere and in the present.  
  
Quatre is kissing him gently, stroking his body to make him feel comfortable.  They know  how at odds he's been with himself emotionally since they began this relationship.  They've taken it so slowly so that he can become comfortable physically and mentally with being touched so intimately.  
  
And he's grateful, so grateful that they want him as much as he has wanted him, happy that they've made room for him in their hearts, and so desperate to be physically intertwined to them, that he wants this over as soon as possible so that he be on equal footing with them.  
  
He hates that he is so green compared to them, not that it should matter, but he wants to already know how to make Quatre moan that certain way when his blond lover's cock is sucked,  or know how hard Trowa prefers having his shoulders massaged and what scent of oil is most tempting to put the taller man into an amorous mood.  
  
He just wants to be able to do anything other than just lay there uncertain of what he should do, as the two above him prepare claim him.  He really hates not knowing what to do.  
  
He blames this on the fact that masturbation and sexual fantasies were frowned upon by the elders; they reminded him daily that giving into base desires would sully the mind and a warrior's pure spirit.  After his traumatic wedding night, he never did feel comfortable exploring himself,  even when his body was at the mercy of his teenage hormones, Wufei swore could feel the phantom eyes of those who witnessed the wedding consummation judging him those few times he did give in.  
  
His heart is beating faster, and he is suddenly filled with the dread and anxiety he normally feels when he is aroused... his mind scolds him...he shouldn't be acting like this...not when Quatre and Trowa love him so.  
  
His moan is embarrassingly loud when Trowa's fingers breach him, and he's almost afraid to open his eyes because he is sure he's ruined the moment.  
  
But Quatre is pressing those feathery kisses against his forehead, coaxing him to open his eyes and look at them.    
  
And all he sees is their love; he shouldn't be ashamed of this because for lack of  better articulation: it feels so good.  It feels so incredibly good that he doesn't know how he should process the sensations and the emotions.  
  
The onslaught continues and  soon he is drowned with the pleasure, overwhelmed by what is happening, that he  _finally_  gives himself over to their capable hands.  
  
Quatre is kissing away the errant tear that is rolling down his cheek, muting his moans with his very deft tongue, and Trowa is spreading him wider, long fingers pushing deeper within, while his mouth engulfs Wufei's straining member.  
  
The rush he feels afterwards is indescribable in a way that his own memory would not be able to give every sensation he feels that night the exact recall.  Only the ghost of it to keep him satisfied with the memory and give him the desire to want for more.  
  
Because after being able to be made to feel this way; to be held safe and grounded with the feeling that all of this here between them is right, Wufei is eager for the next time and the opportunity to learn how to reciprocate properly.  
  
***


End file.
